[ yeah, sorry about that akira...but all things considered there are worse things that he could have saw!! then experiencing ken being half dead before he found his resolution is. yeah. ]
Oh, hello Kurusu-san. [ softer: ] So, you saw that...
[there are definitely worse things he could have seen! this, comparatively, isn't so bad]
Yeah. I did.
[a bit sheepish, but he hobbles forward to sit next to Ken]
. . . it wasn't bad. [throughout it all, he could feel Ken's determination. his self-resolution. that's important, right?] But is it okay if I ask who Shinjiro-san was?
He was one of my senpai—the one who was responsible for my mom dying.
[ hopefully when his dead mom being killed by a persona this was brought up because if not, sorry akira. ken's life is so much and akira can actually see how much death surrounds this kid. ]
I wanted to kill him; I wanted to get my revenge for what happened to my mother but then he protected me...even though I had just threatened to kill him.
[ no need to pretend certain things didn't happen as they did. ]
He was being questioned about someone else in our team and then they threatened to kill him but then I stepped in. I told them I was who they were looking for and for them to kill me.
[ it's weird, isn't it? for ken to go from threatening to kill someone to willing to take the fall for them but only to have it fail anyway? theoretically someone could try to say he succeeded in killing shinji but that's far from what actually happened. ]
[that has to be difficult. . . the emotional whiplash of the event had to have left its scars, too. no wonder Ken was so calm, so poised, so capable of handling the horrors of the mansion]
[. . .]
[what Akira says next is uttered quietly, voice barely audible]
I know what it's like. . . to be so helpless that all you can do is watch as someone dies for you.
It's okay. He didn't die for nothing and I won't forget him.
[ which is the best way that ken can respect shinji's wishes for him. sure it certainly sucked for a very long time but he made it through. though what concerns him now is the way that akira goes quiet and mumbles something that he only catches whispers of.
clearly his memory triggered something..? ]
Kurusu-san?
[ ken gives him a look as though he wants to say something—to push the topic but he's not going to if akira doesn't want to. he didn't have choice given that ken's memory just sort of...barfed on him. ]
[ it's likely something but ken isn't going push it any further. he'll respect whatever he's told or not told. boundaries are things that exist for reasons and even though the compliment makes him happy, he'll still down play it some. ]
You heard what my senpai said, right? He's the tough one.
I'm sure I would still be running if he hadn't said anything to me. [ maybe. debatable. ] Shinjiro-san was his childhood friend.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Oh, hello Kurusu-san. [ softer: ] So, you saw that...
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Yeah. I did.
[a bit sheepish, but he hobbles forward to sit next to Ken]
. . . it wasn't bad. [throughout it all, he could feel Ken's determination. his self-resolution. that's important, right?] But is it okay if I ask who Shinjiro-san was?
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He was one of my senpai—the one who was responsible for my mom dying.
[ hopefully when his dead mom being killed by a persona this was brought up because if not, sorry akira. ken's life is so much and akira can actually see how much death surrounds this kid. ]
I wanted to kill him; I wanted to get my revenge for what happened to my mother but then he protected me...even though I had just threatened to kill him.
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Ken--
[well, that puts a lot into perspective. for a moment, Akira's expression twists in sympathy, but he doesn't really know what else to say]
And in protecting you. . . did he die?
[oh, ouch. this sounds oh-so familiar]
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[ no need to pretend certain things didn't happen as they did. ]
He was being questioned about someone else in our team and then they threatened to kill him but then I stepped in. I told them I was who they were looking for and for them to kill me.
[ it's weird, isn't it? for ken to go from threatening to kill someone to willing to take the fall for them but only to have it fail anyway? theoretically someone could try to say he succeeded in killing shinji but that's far from what actually happened. ]
Not that it mattered since he still died.
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[that has to be difficult. . . the emotional whiplash of the event had to have left its scars, too. no wonder Ken was so calm, so poised, so capable of handling the horrors of the mansion]
[. . .]
[what Akira says next is uttered quietly, voice barely audible]
I know what it's like. . . to be so helpless that all you can do is watch as someone dies for you.
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[ which is the best way that ken can respect shinji's wishes for him. sure it certainly sucked for a very long time but he made it through. though what concerns him now is the way that akira goes quiet and mumbles something that he only catches whispers of.
clearly his memory triggered something..? ]
Kurusu-san?
[ ken gives him a look as though he wants to say something—to push the topic but he's not going to if akira doesn't want to. he didn't have choice given that ken's memory just sort of...barfed on him. ]
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It's nothing.
[even now, he respects Akechi's privacy]
You're really tough, you know that? For being so strong despite how painful it must've been.
[to watch Shinjiro die like that]
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You heard what my senpai said, right? He's the tough one.
I'm sure I would still be running if he hadn't said anything to me. [ maybe. debatable. ] Shinjiro-san was his childhood friend.
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[nobody can go through life alone, after all. Akira knows that better than most]
. . . he must have been hurting so much to have lost him. But he also must have cared about you a lot to seek you out like that.
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[ since it sounds like akira totally has experience with that sort of thing?? ]
But, yeah, that's why Sanada-san is so amazing. He's really the coolest person that I know—I really look up to him and wanna be like him.
[ but also be less dense than akihiko because ken is not blind. ]