[a tiny sense of relief floods through his veins when she takes the envelope, his hands falling away. but. . . it's only a small flicker. the pain in her expression is still evident, and until it's gone--]
[. . . ]
I know.
[he knows his timing isn't great. but he couldn't just let her go without saying something. without doing something. he knows he'll see her again on the other side-- has to believe that he will, lest his heart ache all the more with the thought that their separation is like this-- but it's still. . . terrifying]
[Her hands wring together, gaze to the side. She chews over her words for a long moment looking extremely uncomfortable.]
Having things hidden away... it... it really, really hurts to find those things, Akira. But...
It hurts even worse to... to just have to guess.
[She doesn't know what to think. She's still so upset, the feeling that he's just apologizing to calm her down prominent on her mind. Was he just leading her along for fun up until now? Would he end up treating her, talking about her, viewing her in the same way? She... she doesn't know anymore. She doesn't know if she wants to find out.]
[a shaky breath out, and although part of him wants to look away, he doesn't. he keeps his gaze affixed on her, watching her every move, her every facial expression]
[. . . what had she been about to say?]
[. . .]
Yeah. I should've said it all a lot sooner.
[last night, maybe. . .? the only reason he didn't back then was because he wasn't sure she'd believe him. does she believe him now?]
[. . .]
[a tiny huff, and his eyes finally flicker to the side]
But everything I just told you. . . that's how I really feel.
[. . .]
And whatever you decide to do with that. . . I'll respect your choice.
She doesn't believe him. She wants to, desperately. But she can't.
...]
...
I should go. Brilith and the others will be wondering w-where I am. [She hoists the bag of supplies up and over head, though she doesn't move to leave just yet, hands buried against the strap of the bag she carries.]
...
Akira...
If... if you really kissed Akechi that night to try and calm him down when he was upset...
Then I... I don't want to know why you tried to do the same with me.
[The same night, over the same issue, when she was also upset. It haunts her, a shuddering weight in her stomach even voicing it out loud.]
I'm sorry. I...
...
Goodbye.
[If he responds, she will not listen. She'll simply take her supplies and immediately beeline for the door, before her words betray her any further.]
[he gaze snaps back towards her, yanked back into focus by those words. his mouth falls open for a moment, expression slack, the words dangling on the tip of his tongue. by the time he has the presence of mind to speak, she's already at the door]
W-- wait, you think that I--
[a bit breathless as it all suddenly clicks into one horrible and painful place]
You think it was the same? Luna-- it wasn't--
[he takes a step towards her, trying to stop her from leaving, but considering his delayed response. . . she is probably out and gone before he can]
[She's gone WELL before he can try. It's questionable that she even heard what he said. All she does is move, cold and upset and tired and frightened and trying her best to think of what she has to do, to the task at hand... rather than dwell on the words of Kurusu Akira.
but even as the group steps through the room of req
even as she forces everything down to try and think of saving humanity, of saving those trapped in this place
[she's gone, and he isn't even sure she heard him, and his throat feels tight and his face burns and--]
[. . .]
[. . . he slumps against the wall, furiously scrubbing at his face, a string of barely audible curses whispered upon his lips. and before he pulls himself upright. . .]
[he lowers his hand, curls his fingers into a fist, and brings same down against the wall as hard as he can]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[. . . ]
I know.
[he knows his timing isn't great. but he couldn't just let her go without saying something. without doing something. he knows he'll see her again on the other side-- has to believe that he will, lest his heart ache all the more with the thought that their separation is like this-- but it's still. . . terrifying]
[but he won't rush her. he won't]
.. . but?
no subject
No. Forget it, it's nothing.
[Her hands wring together, gaze to the side. She chews over her words for a long moment looking extremely uncomfortable.]
Having things hidden away... it... it really, really hurts to find those things, Akira. But...
It hurts even worse to... to just have to guess.
[She doesn't know what to think. She's still so upset, the feeling that he's just apologizing to calm her down prominent on her mind. Was he just leading her along for fun up until now? Would he end up treating her, talking about her, viewing her in the same way? She... she doesn't know anymore. She doesn't know if she wants to find out.]
no subject
[. . . what had she been about to say?]
[. . .]
Yeah. I should've said it all a lot sooner.
[last night, maybe. . .? the only reason he didn't back then was because he wasn't sure she'd believe him. does she believe him now?]
[. . .]
[a tiny huff, and his eyes finally flicker to the side]
But everything I just told you. . . that's how I really feel.
[. . .]
And whatever you decide to do with that. . . I'll respect your choice.
[because in the end, it is hers to make]
no subject
She doesn't believe him. She wants to, desperately. But she can't.
...]
...
I should go. Brilith and the others will be wondering w-where I am. [She hoists the bag of supplies up and over head, though she doesn't move to leave just yet, hands buried against the strap of the bag she carries.]
...
Akira...
If... if you really kissed Akechi that night to try and calm him down when he was upset...
Then I... I don't want to know why you tried to do the same with me.
[The same night, over the same issue, when she was also upset. It haunts her, a shuddering weight in her stomach even voicing it out loud.]
I'm sorry. I...
...
Goodbye.
[If he responds, she will not listen. She'll simply take her supplies and immediately beeline for the door, before her words betray her any further.]
no subject
W-- wait, you think that I--
[a bit breathless as it all suddenly clicks into one horrible and painful place]
You think it was the same? Luna-- it wasn't--
[he takes a step towards her, trying to stop her from leaving, but considering his delayed response. . . she is probably out and gone before he can]
no subject
but even as the group steps through the room of req
even as she forces everything down to try and think of saving humanity, of saving those trapped in this place
even now
she thinks of him
and wants to cry for the unfairness of it all.]
no subject
[. . .]
[. . . he slumps against the wall, furiously scrubbing at his face, a string of barely audible curses whispered upon his lips. and before he pulls himself upright. . .]
[he lowers his hand, curls his fingers into a fist, and brings same down against the wall as hard as he can]