brokethefirst: (☼ a little more like knocking)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-30 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[Her hand trembles in his touch, but doesn't move, her eyes softening as she lets her gaze follow the trace of his fingers.]

...You sound a lot like Phoenix. [aka she's gotten this speech before, or so she thinks.]

Sometimes I do, I suppose. It makes me feel like I'm... I'm useful that way.

It's just... much, much harder to focus on what I'm doing right than what I'm doing wrong. But I guess a lot of people have that struggle, though.
brokethefirst: (☾ but see turning them on)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-30 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Her expression twists, a noticeable change as she struggles not to argue, her eyes never leaving where her hand meets his. No, no one dying where she could have easily died is every the right option. It should never be the right option. But, at the same time... she thinks back to what Phoenix had written, of what others had said. She thinks back to Asch, and to Nic, and to Toi, and even to the young man in from of her now, who would have easily passed on from their injuries without medical assistance. She thinks of how often she was woken up in the middle of the night to attend to a wound, or to check up on someone, or to watch over an unconscious body.

...

Maybe... maybe they really did have a point.

She can't form her conflict into words. She can barely form it into thoughts.

But she will give a slow, conceding nod.]
brokethefirst: (☾ and rise up)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
[There's still that slight, uncertain edge to her smile, when it finally comes. But it's still a smile, still genuine enough to reach her eyes as she returns the grip on her hand, looking up at him with eyes that are so, so tired, but frank and grateful.]

You're welcome.

I... feel I should be telling you, that, though. You're part of the reason we've even come so far in the first place.

All of us that were in line with Blue... we all knew we could rely on you to trust us and try to lead people in the right path. The week that we decided to make sure you weren't a monster, I... I'm pretty sure we all nearly fainted out of relief when we found out you were going to be okay.

I don't know where we would be if you hadn't believed in our cause as thoroughly and passionately as you did.
brokethefirst: (☽ how much I long to be free)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
It's okay. Even those of us that were technically working for him didn't know what to think for a long time.

[Mmm, but that mention of Akechi...]

Goro is... complicated. But I think his heart is in the right place. Just... hurting.

I hope someday he can find a way to something better, where he doesn't have to lash out or belittle others or torture himself. But that's... that's something that he has to work towards on his own. So I think if he's lucky enough to have a friend like you at his side... he might be okay someday.
brokethefirst: (☼ but happiness)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 12:27 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad. I really, really am.

[Her lips thin as she thinks through something else, leaning over to put her other hand on top of both of Akira's. Hand pile.]

If... if there's any way we can give him a second chance, Akira, I... I would really like to find it. I think he deserves it more than he would ever want to admit.
brokethefirst: (☾ sturdy and true)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
You mean the one he had done that were attached to his father, correct? [Hah.... WHAT A TOPIC.....]

I just hope that... whatever he chooses, that he can feel that he did the correct thing without any regrets for his future choices.
brokethefirst: (☼ happiness feels a lot like sorrow)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
He didn't tell me. I... I found out on accident, unfortunately. But...

I know there's good in his heart. Despite everything that's happened to him, and everything he may have done to fill... whatever hole his life has left behind.

[There's a heavy pause after that, because really, Goro Akechi is such a horrible, complex string bean of a human. But it hurts to think of him leaving this place completely unchanged. She hopes, at the very least, he doesn't feel so alone in the world.]

...A-anyway.

You wanted to know who it was that I chose. Could I ask why?
brokethefirst: (☼ but happiness)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
...Okay.

[There's an odd sort of relief, in not having to share her choices. It's not that they mattered anymore, of course, but her sense of priorities is far different than a person's.

Well... she would like to think so, anyway.]


I... I do feel guilty, in a way, but... mostly because more than once, I chose the correct person, and the correct type of attack... but the timing was wrong. That... that was hard. It felt really, really unfair.
brokethefirst: (☼ a little more like knocking)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
R-right. I'm sorry.

[It's more an apology of habit than anything else, since she doesn't shrink away afterwards. Her hands curl against his, taking in the warmth they bring, fingertips resting against skin far more worn and real, hands that tell a story in a single touch.]

I think that might be the only thing specific to me, I'm afraid. Certain items I was able to negotiate from the staff due to my position, such as the epipen of sedative and the luminol. But that's about all I was able to do. Anything else, I think Akechi would probably have covered.

That's... one of the other things I wanted to talk about, actually. N-not Akechi, but, um... going home.

[Even if she were to go home in one piece... she's locked in a building forever. And if she wasn't lucky enough to be able to go home alive... well... then maybe this really was hell after all, albeit a much nicer one than she imagined in the end.]
brokethefirst: (☼ be careful child)

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
[...

She didn't even have to ask?

...]


I... I know it's selfish of me. I need to be home, even... even if home means I don't get to exist. My programming says I need to be home. But I...

...

I... want to be able to live.

[Said gingerly, as though she feels it's something horrible that she's admitting.]

To... to go back with you to Tokyo...

Would you really be okay with that?
brokethefirst: (☼ be careful child)

1/2

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
A-Akira...

[There's a broken happiness to how his name falls from her lips, one of her hands moving to press over her mouth for a moment.]

I'm... I'm so scared to, but I... I-I want...

[A pause. She swallows hard, her feelings all swarming inside her like a live circuit, overwhelming but not entirely unpleasant.]

N-no. No, I... I talked to Galo about this. That... that sometimes you have to face your fear, and that if you push through it, whatever happens, a-at... at least you can be proud of yourself for giving it your all...

[Her eyes settle on his as best they can, fearful but wanting.]

I don't want to have regrets. I... don't want any more regrets... I don't want to die.

And I...

...
brokethefirst: (☾ this pair of wings)

2/2

[personal profile] brokethefirst 2020-03-31 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Her jaw sets, eyes flashing with determination. Where the FUCK DID THIS COME FROM. Letting go of Akira's hands, she spins on her heel and whips around the island counter to stand face-to face with him, as though she has something extremely urgent that's come to mind. And yet she hesitates with a face blossoming an amusing shade of pink, blue eyes still fearful, wanting, trying--

No regrets. No regrets. Come on, Luna, what would Galo do....]


Akira! I-I...

I...

I-I'm going to kiss you, and it's Blue's fault, and I-I'm very, very, very sorry--!

[She doesn't wait for a response, taking two strides forward, cupping his face in his hands, and lifting herself up just enough to press her lips to his.]

(no subject)

[personal profile] brokethefirst - 2020-03-31 02:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] brokethefirst - 2020-03-31 03:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] brokethefirst - 2020-03-31 04:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] brokethefirst - 2020-03-31 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] brokethefirst - 2020-03-31 05:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] brokethefirst - 2020-03-31 06:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] brokethefirst - 2020-03-31 07:08 (UTC) - Expand