[he's noticed, throughout the week, the colors of her mask changing, though he has yet to ascribe any rhyme nor reason to it. and even now, as her mask blossoms into a bright, brilliant shade of pink, he's more focused on her. on what's underneath the mask]
[without thinking, he finally releases her hand, but that's only so he can frame her cheeks with his palms. so he can surge forward to press his forehead against hers, ignoring the way both of their masks get in the way, two cumbersome blockades that prevent him from really being able to show her what he means]
[. . . for the first time since the week began, he wishes his mask would disappear]
Of course I mean it.
[he isn't the type of person to say things so strongly without meaning them]
I know you want to help people, and that's. . . that's admirable. You're admirable. But I don't--
[and here he stops, a hitch in his words, because he can't think of a better way to say it then. . .]
I don't. . . want anything to happen to you.
[he's quiet again, and although he doesn't say it, the subtext of his words is clear: if anything did happen to you, I don't know what I'd do]
Her head feels hot, like she could simultaneously float through the celing and sink through the floor. Though the color behind her face is subtle, there's a noticeable rush of heat as she strains to process. No one, not even Sigma, has ever been this close to her, touched her like this, said things like this to her... not until the very end... and even then...
...what... what was this? Why did she both feel so overwhelmed, and yet... somehow, couldn't bear to have the moment stop?
Her eyes screw shut, if only to give herself a moment to lean into the warm touch of his hands, to lift her own fingers with a trembling touch against his wrist. What... what does she do? What is she supposed to say?]
I...
I don't want to see you suffer. You're...
You're one of the kindest people I've ever met... and even now, when you should be upset, you... you still...
...
[Her fingers curl against Akira's palm, her expression tightening, voice wavering.]
[seems to strike. . . something within him. something without a name. . . something that he's never really touched before this very moment. it's warm, though. it's warm, it's soothing, it's comforting, and his heart flutters against his ribs like a butterfly, each beat loud enough for him to hear in his ears. she reaches up to touch his wrist, her fingers against his skin suddenly burning hot, and he--]
[he doesn't flinch, but a part of him feels a jolt course through his wrist, through his arm, something that makes his breath suddenly catch in his throat]
[and he--]
[and he is suddenly acutely aware of how close she's standing, of how pressed into her personal space he is]
[he pulls back rather suddenly, fingers lifting from her cheeks, though he doesn't yet pull his hands away from her face. not because of her, but because of the heat that's suddenly rushing to his head and coloring what little skin can be seen from under his mask]
There's a flighty, breathless sound of confusion as his touch retreats, Luna blinking. Her hand hovers uselessly, unsure of whether he meant to back away entirely, watching him fluster and fumble for an apology...
...
The heat doesn't ease up in the slightest. But there's a fondness that settles over her eyes, slipping her hand away to instead lift to brush his bangs away from where the mask frames his eyes, tracing her touch to the side of his face, cautious and careful with the barest of gestures with curled fingers.
Her voice is nervous and quiet, but that fondness leaks through like warmth on a winter day.]
...I-It's okay... it's okay...
I... u-um...
...
[Ah. Trying to keep eye contact only makes her head swim. She bites at her lip, unsure of where to let her gaze rest, flustering herself even further before she just shuts her eyes again like that's going to somehow help, her face now noticeably warm to the touch.
[and once again, he feels his lungs arrest in his chest as she brushes his bangs aside, as her fingers curl against the edges of his face. he's frozen in place, feet (. . . foot?) glued to the ground, limbs completely and utterly petrified. he doesn't look away from her, as though doing so will break the moment. the. . . whatever this moment is. something that makes his stomach curl and his heart race at the same time, like he both wants to flee and lean into her all at once]
[. . .]
[and then she closes her eyes, and he lets out the breath he had been holding]
[what's wrong with him. . .?]
I-- a. . . anyway.
[he lifts a hand, pressing his knuckles against his mouth as he clears his throat, as the tries to regain the thread of their conversation. as he tries to remember what point he was attempting to drive home before he got. . . distracted]
. . . please take care of yourself. Okay? Don't. . . don't do anything to hurt yourself. Even if it is to save someone else.
[it's a quiet, gentle request, made even though he knows her programming had something to do with the latest incident]
There's something subtle, something guilty that slips into how she looks at him. She looks like she wants to say something so desperately, something that weighs at her like nothing else...
...but she swallows it back.
She's reminded painfully of Ayabe, as if she were in his position, as if Akira were herself, pleading. It... it aches. Is this how Ayabe felt? Like... maybe, no matter how much he could promise, there were some things that... that just couldn't...
...
There's a quiet resolve that settles over her, as though she's finally made a decision that's been on her mind for ages. Her head still swims, but her posture slowly starts to relax.]
[and that promise, that tiny, verbal confirmation is enough to bring forth a wave of relief. Akira finds himself relaxing, his shoulders slumping and his expression evening out, his features now soft]
Okay.
[his hands feel idle when they're not holding hers, and he isn't really sure what else he should be doing with them. but instead of reaching out again, he slips his fingers into his pockets, even though they feel a bit awkward tucked away like this]
. . . okay.
I-- . . . I'm glad.
[he knows that it would be too selfish to ask her not to help others. he knows that if he were her, he'd likely make the decision to sacrifice himself for the sake of someone else's life, too. but so long as she looks after herself, takes care of herself, even if it's for his sake and not her own--]
[There's a mild look of disappointment as he withdraws his hands, but it passes, her own hand fideting with her hair, her necklace, suddenly aware of how quiet the room had become in the moment.]
..I'm sorry. I never meant to worry you so badly.
I... I still think I shouldn't be around Reito right now. I don't think he'll be very stable until he has some sort of proof that his family is okay. But... I promise I'll stay with someone tonight. Even if it's just Horikawa.
Could... could you take care of them for me? All those boys have had such a horrible time... so I...
[There's hesitation, before she nods, her pendant clutched in her hand.]
I... don't want to think I would do that to myself again without a very, very good reason. Otherwise... I think I know who I can ask to keep watch over me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[without thinking, he finally releases her hand, but that's only so he can frame her cheeks with his palms. so he can surge forward to press his forehead against hers, ignoring the way both of their masks get in the way, two cumbersome blockades that prevent him from really being able to show her what he means]
[. . . for the first time since the week began, he wishes his mask would disappear]
Of course I mean it.
[he isn't the type of person to say things so strongly without meaning them]
I know you want to help people, and that's. . . that's admirable. You're admirable. But I don't--
[and here he stops, a hitch in his words, because he can't think of a better way to say it then. . .]
I don't. . . want anything to happen to you.
[he's quiet again, and although he doesn't say it, the subtext of his words is clear: if anything did happen to you, I don't know what I'd do]
no subject
Her head feels hot, like she could simultaneously float through the celing and sink through the floor. Though the color behind her face is subtle, there's a noticeable rush of heat as she strains to process. No one, not even Sigma, has ever been this close to her, touched her like this, said things like this to her... not until the very end... and even then...
...what... what was this? Why did she both feel so overwhelmed, and yet... somehow, couldn't bear to have the moment stop?
Her eyes screw shut, if only to give herself a moment to lean into the warm touch of his hands, to lift her own fingers with a trembling touch against his wrist. What... what does she do? What is she supposed to say?]
I...
I don't want to see you suffer. You're...
You're one of the kindest people I've ever met... and even now, when you should be upset, you... you still...
...
[Her fingers curl against Akira's palm, her expression tightening, voice wavering.]
...Your touch feels so... nice...
I... don't want to lose it...
no subject
[seems to strike. . . something within him. something without a name. . . something that he's never really touched before this very moment. it's warm, though. it's warm, it's soothing, it's comforting, and his heart flutters against his ribs like a butterfly, each beat loud enough for him to hear in his ears. she reaches up to touch his wrist, her fingers against his skin suddenly burning hot, and he--]
[he doesn't flinch, but a part of him feels a jolt course through his wrist, through his arm, something that makes his breath suddenly catch in his throat]
[and he--]
[and he is suddenly acutely aware of how close she's standing, of how pressed into her personal space he is]
[he pulls back rather suddenly, fingers lifting from her cheeks, though he doesn't yet pull his hands away from her face. not because of her, but because of the heat that's suddenly rushing to his head and coloring what little skin can be seen from under his mask]
Sorry. . .! I-- sorry.
[what is he doing?]
Sorry, sorry, I don't. . . I just--
[does he even have an explanation?]
no subject
There's a flighty, breathless sound of confusion as his touch retreats, Luna blinking. Her hand hovers uselessly, unsure of whether he meant to back away entirely, watching him fluster and fumble for an apology...
...
The heat doesn't ease up in the slightest. But there's a fondness that settles over her eyes, slipping her hand away to instead lift to brush his bangs away from where the mask frames his eyes, tracing her touch to the side of his face, cautious and careful with the barest of gestures with curled fingers.
Her voice is nervous and quiet, but that fondness leaks through like warmth on a winter day.]
...I-It's okay... it's okay...
I... u-um...
...
[Ah. Trying to keep eye contact only makes her head swim. She bites at her lip, unsure of where to let her gaze rest, flustering herself even further before she just shuts her eyes again like that's going to somehow help, her face now noticeably warm to the touch.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]
no subject
[a h]
[and once again, he feels his lungs arrest in his chest as she brushes his bangs aside, as her fingers curl against the edges of his face. he's frozen in place, feet (. . . foot?) glued to the ground, limbs completely and utterly petrified. he doesn't look away from her, as though doing so will break the moment. the. . . whatever this moment is. something that makes his stomach curl and his heart race at the same time, like he both wants to flee and lean into her all at once]
[. . .]
[and then she closes her eyes, and he lets out the breath he had been holding]
[what's wrong with him. . .?]
I-- a. . . anyway.
[he lifts a hand, pressing his knuckles against his mouth as he clears his throat, as the tries to regain the thread of their conversation. as he tries to remember what point he was attempting to drive home before he got. . . distracted]
. . . please take care of yourself. Okay? Don't. . . don't do anything to hurt yourself. Even if it is to save someone else.
[it's a quiet, gentle request, made even though he knows her programming had something to do with the latest incident]
Please.
no subject
There's something subtle, something guilty that slips into how she looks at him. She looks like she wants to say something so desperately, something that weighs at her like nothing else...
...but she swallows it back.
She's reminded painfully of Ayabe, as if she were in his position, as if Akira were herself, pleading. It... it aches. Is this how Ayabe felt? Like... maybe, no matter how much he could promise, there were some things that... that just couldn't...
...
There's a quiet resolve that settles over her, as though she's finally made a decision that's been on her mind for ages. Her head still swims, but her posture slowly starts to relax.]
...Okay.
I'll... I'll try.
no subject
Okay.
[his hands feel idle when they're not holding hers, and he isn't really sure what else he should be doing with them. but instead of reaching out again, he slips his fingers into his pockets, even though they feel a bit awkward tucked away like this]
. . . okay.
I-- . . . I'm glad.
[he knows that it would be too selfish to ask her not to help others. he knows that if he were her, he'd likely make the decision to sacrifice himself for the sake of someone else's life, too. but so long as she looks after herself, takes care of herself, even if it's for his sake and not her own--]
[then. . . then he'll try not to worry so much]
no subject
..I'm sorry. I never meant to worry you so badly.
I... I still think I shouldn't be around Reito right now. I don't think he'll be very stable until he has some sort of proof that his family is okay. But... I promise I'll stay with someone tonight. Even if it's just Horikawa.
Could... could you take care of them for me? All those boys have had such a horrible time... so I...
I'm glad you're willing to be there.
no subject
I will.
I'll watch over them and make sure no one does anything stupid.
["no one," he means Ayabe only]
Are you sure you'll be okay, though?
no subject
I... don't want to think I would do that to myself again without a very, very good reason. Otherwise... I think I know who I can ask to keep watch over me.