survivaltricks | [GP INBOX]

[ It's hard to get to know people when you're constantly moving from one place to another. Even without that challenge, parents whisper amongst themselves. Their children have ears that overhear it all: a child without proper parents must be lacking and deficient in several ways. ]

They do. Maybe the circumstances could have been better. Can't say that I regret it though.

[ And while he's not opposed to sharing stories... ]

I'm not sure where to start.

circumstances could always be better.

[that's certainly true for Akira, who only met his Phantom Thieves after being falsely accused of a crime. that part of things was shitty. . . but in the end, he wouldn't have it happen any other way, right?]

the fact that you don't regret it already says a lot.

do you want to start from the beginning?

Feels weird to call them "adventures". We didn't leave Port Island outside of summer break.

It was pretty repetitive in a way. Each month was a new mission, a new large Shadow to eliminate.

[ ... ]

We stepped on each other's toes pretty often early on. And I was only assigned field leader because of my wild card ability.

[ They really were a dysfunctional group early on, weren't they? ]

But at the end of the day, maybe we were the only ones who could understand each other.

[ It was simple, now that he thinks about it. ]

We'd all lost something or someone, either before joining SEES or along the way. Maybe that's what really brought us together?

[ ... ]

Sorry. I don't know if that answered your question.

[. . . lost something?]

[. . .]

it did. though it sounds like your missions were a lot more structured than ours.

i suppose that makes sense, if you guys were an officially organized group.

[ Not all of SEES had lost a person close to them. Fuuka and Aigis -- perhaps one might find it more accurate to say they'd lost their ways, their purposes, until truly being brought into the fold. ]

Yeah. It was pointless though. The missions were a lie.

[ The Full Moon operations -- all of it was pretense for unleashing Death into the world once again. ]

[oh. that one takes Akira by surprise]

a lie? they LIED to you when they recruited you?

[oops, righteous indignation is back]

[ It's... complicated. ]

I don't think the Kirijo Group knew the person they put in charge of SEES had different goals.

[. . . ah. his frown deepens]

what were their goals? and what did they lie to you about?

The Fall.

Humanity's destruction.

We were told the Full Moon missions would free the world of Shadows. But it actually sped up arrival of The Fall.

[humanity's destruction]

[jesus christ]

[Akira feels his heart lodge into his throat when he reads those words, his fingers curling into a tight fist, knuckles white. sure, the phantom thieves had fought against a god who tried to imprison all of humanity, but. . . not a god-- or even a human enemy-- who had wanted to end it]

[. . .]

[if this were a voice thread, his tone would be quiet and taut, as thought barely holding himself back]

so the person in charge of your team lied to you because he wanted your help in destroying the world.

[why? why would someone want the world the end. . .?]

. . . what the hell?

[ Akira says it so plainly; even Minato can't help his expression from falling on his side of the conversation. ]

Yeah. Pretty much.

[ Could Akira truly not understand why someone might wish for the world's destruction?

There's plenty of good in it, but it must stand alongside pain, suffering, torment, anguish. ]

When people can't carry their despair anymore, they pray for someone to bring their destruction. They can't use their own hands to do it, so they hope someone else will do it for them.

[ ... ]

Some people find the world rotten to its core, Akira.

[that's so. . . that's so familiar]

[. . .]

when people become consumed by the anxiety of choice, they lose the will to think and decide for themselves. they only wish for someone else to guide them, to think for them, so that they can wallow in indolence.

[. . . it's not exactly the same, but. . . both of their Journeys have addressed the darker sides of humanity's desires, haven't they?]

they're not wrong. the world IS rotten to its core.

but to destroy it. . . would be to deny humanity the chance to be better.

It is.

[ Perhaps some find the decay steeped so deeply to the point where it's impossible to extract. Perhaps it's best to eradicate the entire thing when there's nothing worth salvaging. ]

Maybe there's nothing good about it. That's why I understand that man's view of the world. I can't be angry at him.

I can see why you might think that too.

[ But despite that ugliness... ]

I still find myself remembering things that make it worthwhile.

[ The two of them -- they might both be guests of the Velvet Room, but their differences have never been on such stark display until now, have they? ]

[. . . . . .]

because there ARE things that make it worthwhile.

[Akira is unable to truly love the world as it is now. after everything he has been through, every heart he has stolen, every nasty individual who tried to subjugate others for the sake of their own greed. . . he has seen that ugliness, has experienced it firsthand. those scars are forever seared onto his heart, reminding him of why he fights. of why he will never step aside when there are wrongs to be righted]

[but amidst that. . . he remembers his thieves. his Confidants. people like Niijima-san, like Yoshida, like Zenkichi, who wanted to fix the world's ugliness from within. who wanted to root out that rotten core. . . and make it better. who had the strength and resolve to fight, no matter how awful the odds may seem]

[those were the people who made it worthwhile. whom Akira believed could make the world a better place, no matter how awful it was]

[. . .]

. . . i suppose i can understand, too. but. . . i can never agree.

because i think this world deserves the chance to be better.

[Minato must think that too. . . right?]

[ Then they're the same after all. ]

Yeah. I think so too.

[ Though to say it "deserved" the chance... For Minato that's not quite the phrase he'd use. One must prove they are entitled to something, should it be an item that must be deserved.

But the world could do nothing, and Minato would still bleed for it. ]

I think it should still get that chance. Just because.

[ Isn't that why, ultimately, SEES had failed to overcome Death? They'd failed to permanently suppress destruction. Without any of that there could be no Life.

And thus the agony of taking every step through life remained, for without it, the world is deprived of joy as well. ]

Sorry.

[ ... ]

We got a little off topic, didn't we?

[just because, huh? Akira's lips curve into a lopsided smile]

no. don't apologize.

. . . i'm really glad we're having this conversation.

[it solidified how different their Journeys truly were. but how, despite those differences. . . they still arrived at the same conclusion. that the world, and all of humanity who lived inside of it, was worth protecting. no matter how painful that world may be]

[. . . Akira can't help but wonder if Yu and Kotone had experienced something similar. is that the Journey of a Wild Card? is that why the World waited for them at the end of those adventures?]

what did you do when you found out you were being lied to?

[ Dissociated, mostly.

Perhaps the impact of the truth comes across in the long bout of silence.

Finally: ]

I think I lost my way for a little while.

[ He remembers going through the motions of life with a robotic demeanor. Between learning the truth and watching Mitsuru lose her father before their very eyes... It was almost too much. Soul-crushing, spirit-shattering.

Perhaps his spirit would have remained broken too, had it not been for a boy with blue eyes and a yellow scarf. ]

There wasn't anyone to blame. The chairman of our group, the one who recruited us... He met his own end.

[oh, Minato. . . yeah. Akira can picture it. it'd be hard to recover from the revelation that the actions you thought would save the world merely doomed it instead]

[betrayal hurts. especially by someone you trusted]

what happened to him. . .?

Died.

[ They'd all watched him fall with their own eyes, ecstasy seared in his lifeless eyes. ]

[. . . ah. no elaboration. . . it must be a memory too painful for Minato to recount to him. guilt tugs at Akira's heartstrings as he lets out a sharp exhale]

sorry

[that it happened? for asking? . . . both, probably]

[ Even now that night remains a fresh wound. The realization that they'd unintentionally jumpstarted the apocalypse was despair-inducing enough. But the pale-green moon had shone at just the right angle, its light revealing thin thread attached to his hands, his feet, every single one of his fingers.

The curtain had fallen away; for the first time, Minato caught a glimpse of the stage he'd been standing on all along.

...the path that ultimately led him to SEES was paved a little too smoothly, wasn't it? ]

It's okay. Sorry.

[ It's not Akira's fault. ]

[for a moment, Akira doesn't know what else to say. how far into this is he allowed to push. . .? if he asks Minato if they managed to combat the fall, will he clam up as he had just now? it's easy to forget how new their relationship is, when he feels such a strong bond of familiarity and friendship with the other Wild Card already]

[. . .]

[perhaps. . . he should err on the side of caution. Minato hadn't asked about his "collaborator," even though it was clear Akira was withholding details. it's his turn to repay the favor]

i didn't mean for things to get so serious. we can change the subject.

. . . thanks for sharing what you did.

[and then, a little lightly]

i'm pretty sure we ranked up just now.

[ Perhaps someday Akira would learn about how SEES managed to combat the Fall. Give them another few social link rank ups. For now, it's a secret he intends to guard jealously. ]

You're lucky Akira.

[ There isn't another soul out there that's heard anything he'd shared. ]

I guess we did.

[ ...wow, he'd really shared a lot, hadn't he? ]

[he really did! whether he intended to or not. how does it feel, senpai??]

i feel pretty lucky.

though all that talking has made me hungry. want to grab some grub?

[ Hoping Akira keeps his promise to not go disappearing anytime soon for Reasons. :/

In any event, seeing Akira face-to-face after all of this would be a little -- ]

Yeah.

[ Oh well. It's hard to say no to this guy. ]

Sounds like a plan. ]

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