[IC Inbox for sidereal_rp]

[survivaltricks]

KURUSU AKIRA
17/M/Earth 2017

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Comments

[fujimaru]

And... I don't know.

[ That's part of the problem! If she had a stronger idea of what she wanted, that would make things easier, but... ]

It was hard enough when it was you, and we don't have any of that kind of history. I don't want to hurt him? I want to be respectful. And it's not like I've ever wanted to get involved with more than one person, so...

[survivaltricks]

[aw, Ritsuka. . . his smile softens as he bumps his head against hers, a gesture of affectionate camaraderie. there's a time and place to tease!! and now is not the time nor place]

Then be honest with him. I know that's way easier said than done, but--

[. . . ruffles her hair some more]

Kadoc doesn't strike me as the type who'd get upset at you being honest.

[fujimaru]

He's not, no, but...

[ But this is still hard! She leans a bit more heavily against him, reaching to start playing a bit with his sleeve. It's a careless gesture, an idle animation, something to self-soothe. ]

It's hard. I don't want to just say one way or the other and then realize I feel the opposite.

[survivaltricks]

[he doesn't seem to mind at all. she can toy with his sleeve as much as she wants!!!]

Yeah. . .? [a little sheepish, but with empathy] I. . . understand that.

[he really does!]

There's no rush for you to figure it out immediately, you know? You don't have to figure it out right now, this very instant.

You can just. . . take your time.

[fujimaru]

I'm trying to, it's just...

[ Just, sometimes, you kind of accidentally escalate every time you talk to the guy who has admitted he's into you, sexually as well as emotionally, and how do you admit it to your boyfriend? ]

I think... I keep making it worse, when I don't mean to...?

[ NAILED IT ]

[survivaltricks]

["accidentally" huh]

. . .

Define "making it worse."

[unsure if she is ACTUALLY making it worse or if she just thinks she is??]

[fujimaru]

[ LOOK.......... he knows her, he can surely guess the stuff she will say without thinking about it, ]

...

[ She pokes the tips of her index fingers together. ]

So you know those orange flowers, right... did you know, he's been a wolf the last couple of times, and I'm always a deer... so I made a joke about eating me, except, I was thinking more like, the law of the wild at first, and he... wasn't.

1/??????

[survivaltricks]

[oh]

[oooooh]

[survivaltricks]

[. . . OOOOOOOOOH]

[survivaltricks]

[THAT IS WHAT SHE MEANT BY "MAKING IT WORSE"]

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[survivaltricks]

[okay so he knows this is about Kadoc]

[but]

DONE

[survivaltricks]

[innocently looks into the distance]

Well.

He has the right idea.

1/3

[fujimaru]

. . .

[ WELL

she hadn't actually expected him to get mad, all things considered but also oh my god?? ]

[fujimaru]

If I were a deer right now I would kick you in the face and run away.

[fujimaru]

[ THAT SAID,

she buries her face in her hands and then thunks her head on his shoulder and makes a sound sort of like: AUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWRGLTHBBBBBBT. ]

1/2

[survivaltricks]

[CRACKING UP and ruffling her hair again as he pulls her close]

I'm just saying—

[Kadoc is not the only one who has thought that way Ritsuka!!]

[survivaltricks]

[okay no back on topic]

Anyway, I don't think that one is your fault.

[fujimaru]

[ She grumbles like an annoyed cat who is too resigned to actually fight back, curling up more against him. ]

Even if it's not, it's out there. This cursed knowledge exists.

[survivaltricks]

[. . . kisses the top of her head and nuzzles into her hair a bit]

Soooo knowing he's into you like that is cursed knowledge, now?

[lightly teasing]

Was it cursed with me, too?

[fujimaru]

[ The only thing to do now is wind her arms around him before she sighs, deep and put-upon. ]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Do you know much I panicked after the first time we kissed? It was like--"oh no, I can't pretend I haven't noticed he's hot. I am aware of that boy."

[ She can say that with some good humor. It's true! It was absolutely cursed knowledge to have a guy you liked, but wasn't sure if you LIKED-liked and vice versa, and dealing with physical attraction on top of that. ]

It was lifted when we started dating, though. It's safe now.

[survivaltricks]

Aw. I'm touched.

[he sounds pleased!!]

Personally speaking, I think Kadoc is pretty good-looking, too. Are you also— you know.

Into him?

1/?

[fujimaru]

I...

[fujimaru]

[ god now she has to THINK ABOUT IT SERIOUSLY thanks Akira you're a pal ]

[fujimaru]

[ he's right, though, Kadoc has a pretty face prettier than hers, really but it's kind of lost in the whole I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN THREE WEEKS, SURE, WHAT OF IT thing but also ]