survivaltricks | [Reverie Inbox]

[Somehow... Minato feels like his breath is growing short, caught in his throat, and he doesn't know if it's the words Akira's saying or... how close to him Akira is, and how sharp and fierce his eyes are--

He swallows tightly, gaze flickering away.]

... I'm... sorry.

[A soft, rueful laugh, more pained than amused.]

I guess I've really... made you worry. But I--I'm...

[give him a tiny push more akira we're almost there]

[there's a sudden lump in Akira's throat, and he quickly swallows it down. he's so close to something, and he doesn't want to let it slip between his fingers]

[. . . quietly, but just as firm]

You're what, Minato?

[almost as if he's daring Mintao to argue with him]

[... Minato swallows tightly, and then his shoulders slump, as if any lingering fight has gone out of him completely.

And, very softly:]

... I'm already dead, Akira.

If I can take on more punishment with this extra time I've been given... I should.

[is there a word for when you're not surprised by something, and yet it still somehow manages to knock the wind out of you? because that's what Akira's feeling right now. the sensation of having a weight lifted off of his shoulders, now that his suspicions have been confirmed. . . only to have it replaced by a deep sorrow that now tugs against his heart]

[he ducks his head for a moment, knuckles white as they remain fisted in Minato's shirt]

. . .

[with even more fervor than before, even though his voice is barely above a whisper]

That's bullshit, and you know it.

[... Minato just ducks his head, sighing softly, eyes sliding shut.

And almost listlessly:]

... Is it?

A lot of people here have their whole lives ahead of them... you included.

It is.

[he hisses, as though from the sheer force of his voice alone he can make Minato understand]

Are you dead right now? Or are you someone who is living, thinking, breathing, feeling, just as much as everyone else?

. . . do you even known what will happen to you when you leave?

... Yes, of course.

[He drags in a shaky breath. Akira's a force of nature right now, but Minato is resigned.]

When I go back... I'll go back to--

[A beat. He clenches his jaw for a moment.]

--to what I gave my life for. That's not negotiable.

[. . .]

[his grip finally loosens, fingers falling away from Minato's shirt]

. . . what are you going back to, Minato?

[... And Minato sighs, bringing a hand up to rub at his face.]

It's... kind of a long story.

[...]

But back home, Akira... we couldn't win. Not against Nyx. We couldn't stop her, so I had to stop her in a different way.

[it's an explanation, but not much of one, and Akira stays silent, gaze still locked on Minato's, gray meeting gray. he might not be saying anything, but he is giving Minato the chance to elaborate]

[And... his expression softens, in contrast, a faint smile even curving his lips.

Mostly... he looks wistful.]

... All I had to do was make sure Nyx couldn't get to humanity. That... humanity's negativity couldn't reach her anymore. Once I knew that, it wasn't so bad. At least I knew everyone would be safe.

So I made a seal to block her off from it all. And that's where my soul is, when I'm not in a space between dream and reality.

And that's where I'll go back to when this is all over.

[. . .]

[slowly, just to make sure he is understanding the situation correctly, the gears in his brain turning. give him kudos for keeping his voice perfectly even, despite the way his stomach suddenly broils]

So. . . you're saying. . .

Your soul is being used as a buffer between humanity's cries for death and the being who would bring them death. . . because humanity's hearts won't change?

[... He slowly tilts his head, smile soft.]

... For now. Humanity's hearts will change... eventually. I really do believe in that.

But until then--yeah. That's where my soul's going to stay.

[. . . . . . . .]

Of course they'll change. Because I'll be the one to change them.

[for such a powerful declaration, Akira's voice is. . . surprisingly soft. something barely above a whisper. his words, however, are spoken firmly. with a sort of defiant determination that only Joker, only the Trickster, only the one who stole humanity's desires to free them from not one, not two, but three malevolent gods could muster up]

[he reaches out to grab at Minato's shirt again, though this time his grip isn't quite as tight]

I'll steal their hearts. Everyone's hearts. . . so there won't be a need for you to act as that buffer anymore.

And when I do that-- [a sharp inhale] You can go home.

[ ... That... finally shakes Minato from his quiet serenity. His lips part, eyes widening a little as he stares at Akira over his gripped shirt and-- ]

What?

That's not...

[ And again, as little more than a whisper: ]

... What?

[just as fiercely as earlier]

You heard me.

[his grip tightens]

So you don't get to throw your life away here because you think you're disposable.

You will have something to return home to. I promise you, Minato.

I'll make sure of it.

[ there's a long, long pause in response--and then slowly, Minato looks away, overwhelmed by the fierceness in Akira's gaze, and the intensity of the promise he's making him.

He'd never...never once considered that someone would ever offer something like that.

And eventually... he manages a shaky, huffed out breath, almost but not quite a laugh. ]

... I don't know what to say. That's such a... [ wonderful, warm, affectionate, fierce-- ] ... crazy thing to offer.

[. . . ha. Akira mirrors that laugh, equally as breathless]

People have said I can be pretty crazy, you know? Reckless even.

But I don't do things halfway.

[so, be it crazy or reckless or whatever, Akira will find a way. he has to. for the sake of this stupid idiot that he's come to think of so fondly, just to give him a reason to care about himself, about his life, about his future again]

[ Minato can't help but wonder--why him? Why like this? Why--

Isn't it just that Akira's so very, very Akira, and that he would do this for anyone? Probably. That's what they do as Wild Cards.

But... part of Minato, deep in his heart... feels endless gratitude that it's him Akira's making this offer to. That it's him Akira so fiercely wants to save.

He's not prepared to think too deeply on that. Instead, he closes his eyes, and then leans in a bit until he can prop his chin on Akira's shoulder, leaning in for what's half a hug and half just...slumping against him. ]

... Somehow... when you say it like that... I can't help but believe in you.

[ah. . .]

[Minato settles warm against Akira's shoulder, and Akira. . . he freezes, albeit only slightly. despite having initiated a hug with Minato back when they had accidentally shared memories, physical contact was still not something he was used to, so. . . it takes a few moments for his brain to catch up]

[. . .]

[and then it does, and he rests one arm loosely around Minato's back, fingers falling from the front of the other wild card's shirt again]

[. . .]

Good.

[quietly, almost a little bit like a deflated balloon]

If you can't believe in anything else, then. . . believe in me. Okay?

[ He's just going to lean for a moment, don't mind him. ]

... I think... that I do believe in you.

[ ... A swallow. ]

But Akira--I did choose this. I... made this choice, and I'm okay with it. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about that.

[that's okay!! he can lean!! Akira finds himself leaning a little bit too, some of the tension in his back easing the longer the hug continues]

I'm not. I understand that you chose it.

But that doesn't make it fair.

[Akira chose to go to jail to protect his friends, didn't he? and that wasn't fair]

[ ... He breathes out a slow sigh. ]

Yeah... I guess that's true, huh...?

[ ... ]

In that case... If I can be a little selfish...

[ And in no more than a whisper: ]

I'd really like to live... just a little bit longer.

[god. what the hell is he supposed to say to that? what can he say when he feels his heart crack from the unfairness of it all? fuck. why does the world take advantage of good people? how horrible is it that someone as. . . as kind, and thoughtful, and loving as Minato had to give up his life to protect a society that probably didn't even know his name??]

[. . .]

[the hug tightens as Akira winds both arms around Minato's back now, pulling the other wild card as closely as he can as he buries his face against Minato's shoulder]

[ Minato lingers in that hug for a long, long moment... and then he breathes out a quiet sigh, this one calmer, and reaches up to gently pat Akira's hair. ]

It's okay.

I'm okay. Regardless of what happens, I lived the best life I could, I think. And I don't regret the choice I made.

But... thanks. For feeling so strongly on my behalf. It really does mean a lot to me.

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