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[survivaltricks]

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[survivaltricks]

[another exhale]

Yeah.

[he's leaning his hands and chin against his pool cue now, the butt of same propped up against the ground]

It's more. . . powerlessness.

[messianic]

Yeah. [he sighs out the word.]

Sorry. I know you must be feeling that way more than anyone, so...

[survivaltricks]

[Akira immediately shakes his head]

Echidna isn't playing. We're just. . . sideline observers.

[which definitely sucks in its own way, but???]

We're not being asked to make an impossible, unfair choice.

[messianic]

[He frowns.]

... What do you think the punishment is, Akira?

[survivaltricks]

[he shakes his head]

I don't know.

[and he doesn't. despite being the task's "administrator," he was given no direction in this department]

I wish I did, though. It'd make preparing a lot easier.

[messianic]

[...]

I think...

[It's said very, very slowly.]

... there's no punishment that would be so bad that I wouldn't... rather take it on myself, rather than expect someone else to take the fall for me.

[survivaltricks]

[and there it is. that which was unspoken, finally drawn out into the light]

[Akira feels his hands curl into fists, before he forces himself to relax again]

. . .

[he says nothing, but the way he stares at Minato with a hardened expression probably says it all for him]

[messianic]

[Minato winces at that, looking away.]

I know that's not fair. It'll just hurt the people around me too.

[...]

But I can't help it.

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[evenly, steadily, without his tone wavering in the slightest]

Do you think that way because you believe everyone else's wellbeing is more important than your own?

[it's a blunt, rude question, but-- he needs to know the answer. Minato's self-sacrificial tendencies have not escaped him, but. . . are they because Minato is just deeply empathetic-- something that Akira understands and agrees with, or. . .]

[. . . is it a lack of self-worth?]

[messianic]

[lil bit of both]

... That's... a complicated question.

[He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.]

I know that I... do matter. [to others, at least.] It'd not that I want to be punished, or that I don't care if I am.

It's just... I think I can handle it. And I don't want anyone else to be hurt.

[survivaltricks]

[it's sudden, the way Akira moves. the way he drops the cue stick, allowing it to clatter on the floor, as he snatches at the front of Minato's shirt and drags him closer. there's something fierce in his expression, eyes flashing. it isn't anger, but. . .]

Minato.

[he hisses that name, tone authoritative. more Joker than Akira]

You're not dispensable.

[which. . . is not what Minato said, but Akira isn't stupid]

[messianic]

[... Ah.

He stumbles when Akira grabs him and yanks, not expecting it at all.]

A-Akira--?

[... He bites his lip.]

... I don't think...

[Well, no, he... kind of is.]

You don't have to worry so much about that.

[survivaltricks]

[another sharp inhale, his grip on that shirt tightening]

You're not.

[because somehow, he feels like. . . the first time wasn't enough. the first statement didn't get through Minato's stupidly thick, loving, self-sacrificial soul]

You don't have to be the one who suffers just because you think you can take it. I understand empathizing with the pain of other people. . . and I understand wanting to protect those who are important to you.

But you aren't something that can be thrown away. Something that can be used as a scapegoat, or a punching bag.

You're just as deserving as literally anyone else here.

[messianic]

[Somehow... Minato feels like his breath is growing short, caught in his throat, and he doesn't know if it's the words Akira's saying or... how close to him Akira is, and how sharp and fierce his eyes are--

He swallows tightly, gaze flickering away.]

... I'm... sorry.

[A soft, rueful laugh, more pained than amused.]

I guess I've really... made you worry. But I--I'm...

[give him a tiny push more akira we're almost there]

[survivaltricks]

[there's a sudden lump in Akira's throat, and he quickly swallows it down. he's so close to something, and he doesn't want to let it slip between his fingers]

[. . . quietly, but just as firm]

You're what, Minato?

[almost as if he's daring Mintao to argue with him]

[messianic]

[... Minato swallows tightly, and then his shoulders slump, as if any lingering fight has gone out of him completely.

And, very softly:]

... I'm already dead, Akira.

If I can take on more punishment with this extra time I've been given... I should.

[survivaltricks]

[is there a word for when you're not surprised by something, and yet it still somehow manages to knock the wind out of you? because that's what Akira's feeling right now. the sensation of having a weight lifted off of his shoulders, now that his suspicions have been confirmed. . . only to have it replaced by a deep sorrow that now tugs against his heart]

[he ducks his head for a moment, knuckles white as they remain fisted in Minato's shirt]

. . .

[with even more fervor than before, even though his voice is barely above a whisper]

That's bullshit, and you know it.

[messianic]

[... Minato just ducks his head, sighing softly, eyes sliding shut.

And almost listlessly:]

... Is it?

A lot of people here have their whole lives ahead of them... you included.

[survivaltricks]

It is.

[he hisses, as though from the sheer force of his voice alone he can make Minato understand]

Are you dead right now? Or are you someone who is living, thinking, breathing, feeling, just as much as everyone else?

. . . do you even known what will happen to you when you leave?

[messianic]

... Yes, of course.

[He drags in a shaky breath. Akira's a force of nature right now, but Minato is resigned.]

When I go back... I'll go back to--

[A beat. He clenches his jaw for a moment.]

--to what I gave my life for. That's not negotiable.

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[his grip finally loosens, fingers falling away from Minato's shirt]

. . . what are you going back to, Minato?

[messianic]

[... And Minato sighs, bringing a hand up to rub at his face.]

It's... kind of a long story.

[...]

But back home, Akira... we couldn't win. Not against Nyx. We couldn't stop her, so I had to stop her in a different way.

[survivaltricks]

[it's an explanation, but not much of one, and Akira stays silent, gaze still locked on Minato's, gray meeting gray. he might not be saying anything, but he is giving Minato the chance to elaborate]

[messianic]

[And... his expression softens, in contrast, a faint smile even curving his lips.

Mostly... he looks wistful.]

... All I had to do was make sure Nyx couldn't get to humanity. That... humanity's negativity couldn't reach her anymore. Once I knew that, it wasn't so bad. At least I knew everyone would be safe.

So I made a seal to block her off from it all. And that's where my soul is, when I'm not in a space between dream and reality.

And that's where I'll go back to when this is all over.

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[slowly, just to make sure he is understanding the situation correctly, the gears in his brain turning. give him kudos for keeping his voice perfectly even, despite the way his stomach suddenly broils]

So. . . you're saying. . .

Your soul is being used as a buffer between humanity's cries for death and the being who would bring them death. . . because humanity's hearts won't change?