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[survivaltricks]

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[messianic]

[He will gladly! When it is clear that Akira is letting him have the first go, he carefully lines up his pool stick and...!!

Assuming that Akira helped him with the basics last time they played, he hits cleanly!

And breaks the triangle, but no balls go into any holes.]

[survivaltricks]

[Akira did help him, so! work on that form, Minato! Akira makes a slightly impressed noise, before lining himself up to take the next shot]

What did you want to talk about, by the way?

[messianic]

[...]

Anything, really. I just...

[... he makes a bit of a face.]

This "task" really, really sucks.

[survivaltricks]

[ah. . . he sees. there's a pause as Akira leans over the pool table, cue poised and ready to shoot, even though he doesn't do so quite yet]

. . .

You wanted to get your mind off of things, huh?

[messianic]

Yeah.

[... he closes his eyes, shoulders slumping.]

No matter what we do with this one... people are going to get hurt.

[survivaltricks]

[it's the first time Akira has talked openly about the game, if only because-- well. . . the whole "Fran" thing had been more important at the time, hadn't it]

[he's quiet for a moment as he finally takes his shot, sinking a striped ball in one of the corner pockets]

. . .

Leaves a bad taste in your mouth, doesn't it?

[messianic]

[It does a lot more than that--but Minato knows Akira feels it too.]

... Yeah. We've all been trying to come up with something to do--some way to keep people from being punished.

But the rules are pretty explicit.

[survivaltricks]

[slowly moving to the other side of the table, preparing another shot for himself. for a moment. . . his expression flickers into something more distasteful, more visibly frustrated, before he schools it back into neutrality. not today, Akira!!]

[. . .]

What is Cerberus going to do?

[messianic]

[......

Minato pauses for a long moment, and then his gaze shifts down to the pool table.]

I think we'll be able to come to a consensus on who to protect.

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[turns to face Minato, chin lifting a bit]

. . . that's not what I meant.

[messianic]

[...]

I don't... think Cerberus...

[... A faint frown.]

I think we'll be okay, no matter what happens. We're just trying to decide what we can live with, that's all.

how did i miss this notif

[survivaltricks]

[his expression softens]

It really sucks, when circumstances force you to operate within boxes you'd rather burst wide open. Doesn't it?

[he is fully sympathetic, here. speaking as a man of experience]

What is it that you think you can live with, Minato?

how dare you

[messianic]

[... He closes his eyes for a moment.]

... I don't think... I can handle hurting other people. Even... if it's just by omission, like this.

[survivaltricks]

[a deep inhale and exhale]

You know that no matter what happens, it won't be your fault. Right?

[messianic]

... Yeah.

[He huffs out a faint noise at that.]

It'd be pretty arrogant to think that, I know.

... But it still feels like I should be able to do something.

[survivaltricks]

[another exhale]

Yeah.

[he's leaning his hands and chin against his pool cue now, the butt of same propped up against the ground]

It's more. . . powerlessness.

[messianic]

Yeah. [he sighs out the word.]

Sorry. I know you must be feeling that way more than anyone, so...

[survivaltricks]

[Akira immediately shakes his head]

Echidna isn't playing. We're just. . . sideline observers.

[which definitely sucks in its own way, but???]

We're not being asked to make an impossible, unfair choice.

[messianic]

[He frowns.]

... What do you think the punishment is, Akira?

[survivaltricks]

[he shakes his head]

I don't know.

[and he doesn't. despite being the task's "administrator," he was given no direction in this department]

I wish I did, though. It'd make preparing a lot easier.

[messianic]

[...]

I think...

[It's said very, very slowly.]

... there's no punishment that would be so bad that I wouldn't... rather take it on myself, rather than expect someone else to take the fall for me.

[survivaltricks]

[and there it is. that which was unspoken, finally drawn out into the light]

[Akira feels his hands curl into fists, before he forces himself to relax again]

. . .

[he says nothing, but the way he stares at Minato with a hardened expression probably says it all for him]

[messianic]

[Minato winces at that, looking away.]

I know that's not fair. It'll just hurt the people around me too.

[...]

But I can't help it.

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[evenly, steadily, without his tone wavering in the slightest]

Do you think that way because you believe everyone else's wellbeing is more important than your own?

[it's a blunt, rude question, but-- he needs to know the answer. Minato's self-sacrificial tendencies have not escaped him, but. . . are they because Minato is just deeply empathetic-- something that Akira understands and agrees with, or. . .]

[. . . is it a lack of self-worth?]

[messianic]

[lil bit of both]

... That's... a complicated question.

[He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.]

I know that I... do matter. [to others, at least.] It'd not that I want to be punished, or that I don't care if I am.

It's just... I think I can handle it. And I don't want anyone else to be hurt.